dissonance
2008-03-23 11:12 p.m.

---i wrote the following thursday night at the height of my drunkenness---

oh wouldn't you just LOVE to know how drunk i am. wouldn't you just LOVE IT

here's what else. i had my thesis defense today, it was good, it was not a defense in the typical sense. i won't go into details. i can say it was good. don't take this as a sign that you should ask me what i'm going to do next. don't ask me unless you have a suggestion.

ohhh why wont the boys come home?

i will arch my back until then.

---saturday, 2 pm---

now i'm in bed thinking of all the things i'm going today. i'm going to get dressed, i'm going to read.

and scoop the clothes off my floor, and write the great american text message. and save the dolphins. i'm going to find a date to the junior prom.

or a literary agent? how terrifying.

trying to carve out a life. asheville? oxford? new york?

---and on this glorious easter sunday---

let us remember those people in our lives who have the capability to wound us, cut us, bruise us.

---i don't think---

that just because my thesis is done, i am doomed to become lazy. lazier.

but i do have an idea how the rest of my time here will go, if i'm not careful.

days spent lounging around listening to cover songs, and nights spent pacing my room, trying not to trip on all the debris.

---into the idea---

of cognitive dissonance. not into, like "i'm into jean skirts" into. but into like,

i'm going to look into that.

more thoughts later.