metaphors be with you (gah)
2008-03-12 6:44 a.m.

this was surprisingly long. i don't expect many to read it all. thaz fine.

grateful acknowledgement to http://www.minerals.net/

don't you remember geology in 6th grade and geology in 9th grade and geology freshman year college?

identifying minerals can be done in a number of ways. like color or luster.

or the way it fractures, whether smooth or jagged. a given mineral fractures in a particular way--and that never changes. it's part of the character.

i don't know what i'm getting at here. sometimes i let my metaphors go a bit and see where they carry me. but i believe there are a few options so i'll let you choose the one you like best

1. my heart being the mineral, me being the learned geologist, intimately knowing the jagged surface. imagine me sitting in a leather wingback chair, the kind professor plum would have. imaging me nodding while i examine a new specicmen of my favorite mineral. imagine how it could be a familiar comfort to sweep my hand over its fractured surface, and recognize the unforgettable way the hard splinters prick my fingertips.

2. my heart being the mineral, various things being the fracturer. think about how even if it fractures the same way over and over, it's the context that changes.

2a. sometimes it is a natural fall off a cliff and a natural impact with the ground--imagining it rolling off with a dumb joy, like an orange off the countertop.

2b. sometimes it is a student in a college geology class, chipping it purposefully with a borrowed tool in order to learn.

2c. sometimes it is the owner of an object, let's say a funny little knicknack not to be taken seriously. the owner thinks the object is made of something else, and throws it on the floor to make some rhetorical point in a conversation that required no rhetoric. he only recognizes the object's true substance once a chunk chips off and the surface bared is hackly, not smooth as he thought it would be.

3. if you're in that mood where you theorize that it's because i am ugly and men do not think of me sexually that i have so much more trouble, if you have thought, men treat pretty women better, you can pay attention to this:

"Fracture marks are rarely present on minerals with good or excellent cleavage. Minerals with poor cleavage will fracture more often than those with good or perfect cleavage."

i admit i (mostly) don't think this is a fair comparison to human behavior, but the keywords mentioned--fracture more often, perfect cleavage--are too much for a serial metaphor-whore like myself to pass up.

4. me, or you, or whoever, as an early taxologist in physical mineralogy working to list all the different ways a gem can fracture and finding it difficult. how many ways are there to break? it's more than just smooth and rough, did you know?

5. metaphors can only go so far. the opposite of being cliched is being far-fetched. it's fun to experiment, though. i tend to understand the world better when i write things out.

earlier tonight i felt my heart break. though the circumstances were wildly different from normal, the feeling was the same as before; i thought about whether my heart only had one way of breaking, and i remembered being in 9th grade earth science and testing 20 different mystery mineral samples using breakage as an diagnostic tool.

some of the samples were so obvious, like fool's gold (pyrite, how do you remember that?) and quartz. if you get the chance to test diamond--which i never had, come on, public school--you'll find it is the hardest mineral on earth, with the highest melting point, and the greatest conductive properties, and the most density. it is the super thing. surely there is an opposite? or something that looks strong but is very weak? i was always partial to mica, the shiny one with the perfect cleavage. later when we looked at rocks it was always to tell which ones contained mica.

the more i thought about all this, the more ways to break it down appeared, like a gem that cleaves in all directions. the idea works, it applies to me, but the specifics are opaque.

now that i've written this entry and it's almost 7 in the morning i want to say i've decided on this--

6. minerals have their traits and they have their purposes. no use trying to make a useful tool out of talc. diamond is too hard for the streak plate, and iron will never be translucent enough for a windowpane. poor pyrite is only famous for being the fake, worthless version of something better.

if you're willing to be honest about a gem's capabilities, and not force it into situations where it is useless, you'll be pleased with its performance. a fracture only comes out of stress.

my mineral description is as follows. i am a good friend, good cleavage, jagged fracture, pearly luster, soft.

i am diplomatic. i pride myself on listening to two sides of an argument and seeing how both are right. i will be listen to and respect your feelings when you aren't ready to admit that you have them, or that they're of any use.

i tend to prefer conversation over bowling as a bonding activity, because there's a smaller chance of my being humiliated-- though as i learned tonight, humiliation is always attainable if it's your aim. or your subconscious aim. or an unfortunate by-product of your obsession with being right.

perhaps ironically, i also don't know how to rock climb.