no surprise
2008-03-07 4:56 p.m.

yes, it is done for now. in two weeks i'll defend, in four week's i'll turn it in.

now it is pouring rain, and i don't think it's ever going to stop.

i just finished lying on the floor, all wrapped up in dustballs. for 10 minutes. it was all right. i would have preferred my bed, but to crawl under the covers at 4:45 pm signifies something i'm not ready to admit.

not like lying on the floor upstairs isn't a worrisome gesture.

here now is the big bad boredom. yes my thesis is done. i wanted to be fucked while i wrote it, but that didn't happen. that didn't happen?

and everyone keeps telling me to just masturbate--what kind of answer is that? well, what kind of question am i asking? on one level there is this: i need it.

another level deals with the big bad boredom. i need a boyfriend, i need some support or some shit, i need something to occupy my heart. i hate the word heart. when i'm in a hurry that translates into something quick, a bite on the go.

now i'm done, it's raining, the house is somewhat warm, but not warm enough. everyone is going to some concert tonight which doesn't interest me, or else they have other plans which don't include me. i get sad when my roommates leave the room.

look how lame my writing is today. look how spacious and flat it is.

i'm going to walk in the rain until i dissolve. i'm going to reread my old dirty journals until i levitate.

yes my thesis is done. does this mean i'm not going to write any more? i believe it might, depending on a few factors. i'll let you know.

i can see a movie alone. i might do that.

what the fuck, is there something between "welcome home roscoe jenkins," "u2 3d" and "27 dresses"? is there something called "hey girl this is the movie that will make you forget you're watching it alone"?