love
2008-02-14 1:10 a.m.

but sometimes florida is a bit abusive and hits us with 40 degrees. and we are not prepared.

the thesis nonsense is going smoothly, for me, though not for everyone, and the spongy parts of me that take on others' problems are filled with sadness and frustration.

i am approaching the end which is of course cliche cliche the beginning. i tried explaining my plans to my mother, and they seemed nothing but pure crazy. they made sense to me.

chekov was a doctor, wallace stevens was an insurance salesman. do you see? how some people need another life? and how that's okay?

she went to pratt, she quit pratt. she gave up art for a long time. now she's semi-retired and taking art classes at the community college and i asked her how it's going. she said it's perfect, because there's no pressure to be great, there's no pressure to compete.

then certainly she should understand how easily i would dissolve if i tried to make a living this way.

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oh well hey it's valentines day. look at that.

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the other day i was in the grocery store and i saw the candy aisle. "olohhh v-day is coming up soon, and, gosh, i should treat myself, dont you think?"

i bought a beautiful chocolate bar. milk chocolate with toffee and almonds, the best thing in the world, the best best best favorite wonderful rainbows.

but on the way home i could not ignore my the fat deposits on my stomach, and i had no choice but to admit that buying the chocolate was a mistake.

now i'm trying to find a good home for this bar. if you are interested in this, no joke, i will mail it to you for free. but please appreciate the fuck out of it. here is more information on the chocolate bar of my dreams.

i might eat it before i finish writing this entry, so please write soon if you're interested. you can reach me at efemiano@english.ufl.edu

that's right, i just posted my english department email.

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things are solid, which, while boring for you, is great for me.

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i just described my latest story in progress to eric. "i mean i think this is a piece of shit. i think its boring and without tension and masturbatory and sentimental and cutesy." i stand by it.

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i'm in a good mood despite the flaming dog fart of a story i'm working on, and i love chocolate, and i love abusive florida weather, and i have no special love in my life, and i love irony, so i'll go ahead and name this entry to reflect all of these things.