ok great
2008-01-09 4:15 a.m.

i teach on mondays and i have class on wednesdays.

i write nevers.

nevers!

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i realized tonight with some dismay that i have never gotten shitfaced and passed out in an inappropriate place, like on a stranger's couch, or on a sidewalk, or in a post office.

i'm hesitant to make this a goal, though.

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here's another epiphany of little consequence. i was walking down the stairs yesterday when i caught my reflection in the cruise-ship porthole window, and i realized i have a great rack. i even said it, yes, just like that: "well, i have got a great rack." it's time for that term to have a comeback.

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what is that krazy kat noise i hear? strays need love too.

do you think there's a parallel universe, a la sliders, where i exist, same age, same hair length, same great rack, doing something more productive than sinking in this lemonlime striped chair and watching janet jackson's new video?

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or people get boyfriends because they need something to do on the weekends. why do people message me on dating sites and say, "you seem interesting"? why doesn't anyone understand the art of seducing a woman with words? there are other things to say in response to my profile. "your lips give me ideas" or "what a great rack" or something like that.

whatever. i probably wouldn't respond if someone said that to me.