the body shop
2007-12-20 4:29 a.m.

i don't really give a shit about spiced pears or cinnamon sticks, but the blue spruce scent brought me to my knees.

just walking into the airport makes me sick. my skin grows bumpy and my eyes sink away--i saw my reflection.

then i sat in the back back back corner of the airplane even though the back half was empty. the steward gentleman said i could move if i wanted, i didn't have to stay in the seat assigned to me by the airline, and i said no, i picked this seat myself, i liked the back.

"oh, a self-inflicted wound!" he said with a smile. "ha ha, i see!" i found myself laughing before i knew why. give that man a goddamn raise!

later he scuttled (?) down the aisle and i watched him. i got my blue hoodie on and he saw me once and he thought, "look at that little lichen hiding in the darkness." i'm content if no one looks at me. later i slumped through the body shop, dotting on a lip gloss or five, did any salesgirl give a shit? no, she said, "look at that blue raccoony lump smelling the little scents," (see above).

what can i say? sometimes i like to prance around in some boob-grip shirt. othertimes i dig the middle school scene.

the end

but i should add i'm back in maryland, and on the walkway in the airport i did bob my head and sing,

my moon, my man's
a changeable land
such a loveable land to me!

oh also when i putting my shoes back on after i walked through the machine, i saw a young man with a torso i thought would surely be the death of me. actually it was his belt--it was undone and the ends were just jutting out in midair waiting for my hands and i know it was it because the security people made him take it off, but i still couldn't stop staring. what on earth -- soon unbuckled belts are going to join the ranks along with Alcohol Breath and Shifty Eyes on the list of things i associate with It.

what is going to happen these ten days in the suburbs of b-more? i hope for a peaceful snow over the land. i lied when i said "the end."