afterkegger
2007-09-09 9:30 p.m.

now everyone's gone and i'm hugging this lovely hangover, my third ever, i do believe.

or higher. all i know is that i have had headaches, stomachaches (how wonderful that word looks), other important-organ-aches. but when the majority of the next day is devoted to lying horizontally and sipping water, well.

my regrets are two.

1. when i was drunk and stoned, i stood near the kitchen and thought, "i feel so great." the logic went like this. "if i drink more, then i'll feel greater."

NO!

a cruel twist in anatomy, that alcohol forces the judgment sect of the brain to shut down just as the pleasure sect lights up.

w, pour more gin in my cup.

2. that i did not start the chain of events that led to me vomiting in my trashbin later in the evening. it was 12:30 am when i "left" the party, and i missed a further 4 hours of shirt-changing, pants-dropping.

---

my fears were two.

1. that i would always be violently drunk.
2. that i would have to deal with my permanent, violent drunkeness alone.

i cried about both in hiccuped chokes. but what could be done? i couldn't blow my nose, let alone talk.

i don't want to be the type who writes about her need for affection on a public forum. except i am. i will deal with this ironic conflict by eating cereal.