robot say me love you long time
2007-08-28 1:13 a.m.

no, i didn't know it was 1 am.

fiddle-faddle. my poor, impulsive decision-making skills have led to this: i own a mirror and i don't know what to do with it. do you need a big round mirror? i have a big round mirror.

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DARLING don't ASK ME how it HAPPENED. don't ask me when. it just did.

i think

it was like checking out your items at the grocery store and suddenly realizing they total over $52. what the fuck did i buy? just a few things and wait how'd that get in my cart?

maybe i saw it coming.

this is dumb. i finished my old paper journal and when i did i said, "and let us consider this matter closed." and i started a new journal, a hot pink canvas-covered one with shiny unlined pages.

"let us begin anew."

oh fuck. i am going to buy a charming robot to do my work for me while i lay in bed and hit myself in the head with a mallet.

but then the charming robot is going to charm all my goddamned friends and they're going to fucking fall in love with the robot in a way they never did when i was their friend; they'll ask the robot to tea and beg to make love to the robot on the sunroom floor.

"oh surrogate robot liz," they moan in ecstasy. "you are so generous and un-crazy." mmmmmmaaa-ma! "loyal and loving. the most dedicated of friends. you have a bottomless pit for a heart, like your human counterpart." is that even a good thing? is that even true? maybe my heart is the size of a matchbox.

robot: "all the better to love you with, my dear." no, that's not how my robot will talk. my robot will talk like frankenstein's monster, or like a non-native english speaker.

i'll be upstairs, still hitting myself, thinking what to do differently. durrrr-- there's nothing to do! it's just one of those things. whack.