mrs....darcy? i love his hesitation
2007-04-24 4:22 a.m.

as may third approaches you may notice i stay inside more and more. is that the reason why?

when are you going to get over it?

i'd like to be near people, but not in the way they want me to be. i don't want movies or bars or galleries or shows.

i want my skin to stop buzzing. the shell on me.

---

how why and when did i start watching youtube fanvideos of fictional couples?

it doesn't matter. i've got to stop because this level of intimacy is not possible in gainesville, florida:

(ugh and i feel like a tacky asswipe even considering linking to it) gah gagg here.

all right, there you are, don't tell anyone, but yes, i did just post a link to a video of the last scene in the 2005 pride and prejudice.

oh, i know how why and when i started watching youtube videos of the darcys. (isn't it gross how i refer to them? like i know them: "tonight the darcys are coming over for kebabs" or "i received a beautiful fruit basket from the darcys this christmas" or "last night at the swingers party, the darcys--yeah, that's right, that sweet couple down the street--proposed that i join them in bed. i didn't know how to respond! those darcys.")

it was because meg and i were discussing different things find ourselves wanting to say. mine include:

-ha-cha-cha-cha (or sometimes "itchi-kitchi-ya-ya-wa-wa")
-thingamajig
-bottle of red, bottle of white
-but i guess you do it anyway
-i'll get mine and you'll get yours
-you must allow me to tell you how ardently i admire and love you.

this last one is from some book written by some broad about some bimbo who falls in love with some blockhead.

then it became a movie that became a youtube clip that became a line stuck in my head, on the tip of my tongue. bimbo meets blockhead.

HA cha cha! thentheyhavesex. that's how these things always end. thentheyhavesex. hey swingers, come over for some keee-bobs, do it up the bum.

it's time i go to bed.