if i was a squirrel: part duex
2003-04-25 10:53 p.m.

If I was a squirrel

I could pick the guy with the most nuts

I could climb trees and go to the open windows and LAUGH at the people who are stuck inside getting education.

I would be like, "hahaah youre in school and im doing whatever the fuck i want! You have to earn money? I dont im a squirrel."

I would also steal quarters from people.

I would steal birth control from humans or fashion little squirrel condoms out of leaves and then i would have sex ALL THE TIME with male squirrels and when we weren't having sex we would be chasing each other in that ADORABLE squirrel way (like in sword in the stone).

also I would do nothing all day and i wouldnt have to worry about emailing my teachers or writing essays and if i wanted to write i WOULD

also i would be like, "im a squirrel and i can hitch a ride with truckers and i can go to hollywood and stalk noah wyle."